The Beauty in Stillness
A common question that has always come my way in my work as a psychologist is this “how do I keep my child/myself occupied”. With the pandemic, this question seems to have gotten more urgent. We all have this need and want to keep doing something, to keep ourselves productive. And isn’t this the world we all live in right now? Always on the move, the next task, the next deadline, the next goal, the next event?
I recall how at one point during the lockdown, I got so engrossed in ‘self-care that it became a series of tasks on my to-do list. I had to paint for a certain time every day, read a certain number of books in a month, learn a particular language and fill up a section of pages with my writing. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it and learned so much from it. However, it soon began to tire me out. I wondered what I was trying to distract myself from? Was it my fear and worry? Was it to satisfy some idea of being ‘productive’ and ‘useful’?
In the last few weeks, I am slowly gaining a greater appreciation for just being still. Sometimes, it is lying on my bed enjoying the feel of time passing by, or sometimes it is just sitting and watching the evening sky, listening to my thoughts. I’m learning to sink into myself and listen to myself and surprisingly? It’s not that scary. I don’t feel the urge to run away from myself anymore. And is it uncomfortable? Definitely. I am sometimes bombarded with the fear of ‘wasting my time or the feeling of being ‘unproductive’ and procrastinating on my work. There are days I have to choose to fulfill my responsibilities. However, there are also days, I choose to stay with the discomfort, lean into it and then let it go.
Why am I doing this? Because there is beauty to be found in the stillness. There is wisdom in ourselves which we work to ignore every day. There is peace to be found in just being. Our brains are not designed to be bombarded by tasks, events, and chatter every moment of every day. We deserve more than just to spend our days thinking of the next thing to do. We also deserve to enjoy and just be.
In case you do want to discuss this further, do reach out to the counselors at CMR-NPS.To reach out to the counselors at CMRNPS for your child, you can use this link below. Please select the option ‘student wellness’:
By, Anika Joseph, Counselling Specialist, CMR-NPS